​​Let us Run the Race with Endurance
the Race that is Set Before Us
 (Hebrews 12:1) ​​

​​We are Daughter's of the King​​

Through all adversity trials & tribulations,
We Choose to Arise a Warrior of God  
and Run the Race of Faith 
we hold the Heart of a Champion
We are Strong Bold and Courageous,
We are the Front Runners
Who are Called to Rise and
Run the Race with Endurance & Perserverence  
to Pass our Batons to the Next Generation. 

 Run the Race for Humanity
"Pay it Forward" 
with amazing Love
with random acts of Kindness 
The Power of LOVE c
osts us Nothing
 "Free Will" is Choice
Offer Mercy & Grace is a Gift

even when Underserved 
You do when
You hold the

Cybil Garrett  & Chrissy Naone

This is My Story
this is My Song
Testimony "Stealing Beauty" 
He who is without Sin cast the first Stone

  This is My Story
  This is My  Song
       Testimony "Stealing Beauty" 
      "He Who Is With Out Sin Cast The First Stone"

My name is Chrissy 
Growing up in my home town of Kaneohe
I'm one of 7 sisters
My parents, were very young when they had us
With the challenges of raising us
Both parents working
trying there best to make ends meet

Not knowing God, nor having a personal relationship 
even with amazing love between them 
the stress was too much, along with the root of pride
My mom working as a secretary, always having to leave early
And my dad running his company
Growing apart, because of pride and unforgivness
Then adultry
As their relationship was broken
it was soon time to part ways 

In the early stages of being separated
my mother and father 
Decided to split us up
Two kids each
Oldest - youngest went with my mom
Two middle with my dad (me)
Growing up 
No one ever talked about God 
except my grand mother who was a devote ( Jehovahs witnesses )
because she felt so strong about her beliefs,
she fought through prayer for our families salvation 

My dad rebelled and his beliefs
They were the complete opposite
We were raised to believe in the evolution of man
( Funny right ) 🐒 monkeys
I thought oh so my self 
I would joke with my dad all the time
Here we go! another month subscription of National Gorgraphic
Ok Dad Seriously monkeys 🐒
😉 Soooo I'd ask Myyyyy
great great great grand father swung in trees 🌴
and ate bananas 🍌 all day 😳🤔🤒

He's was serious! he'd get really mad at me
And make me read it ( national geographic )
I remember looking at the drawing of a monkey 
In stages till it resembled a man on two feet
Always thinking this is "nuts"
My dad was Not joking! 
He was dead serious ! 🐒🐒🐒

From 4th grade into intermediate 
we had to take care of our selves
As our parents were always working
The Pressure was real
The Struggle was real
In 7 th grade
My father re-married 
And added 3 more little sisters to our family 
7 Girls 
I started smoking weed
And I didn't have to go far
Growing up, I had Holy Smokes in our back yard! 😳 
my dad and uncle loved to smoke 
They became antrapanuers
Grow , Harvest , Package, Sell

In 7th grade my room
A water bed ( who does that! ) a definite Red Flag!
A haku lei made out of pakalolo leaves ( hanging on the wall)
Our house, the party house
My older sisters friends over all the time
Being permiscuis 
After High school graduation 
I found out I was pregnant 
The boy I was with felt 
we were too young for this
My mom took me to get an abortion
I didn't know the serious ness of this 
My mom said it would be better 
I had to go

Sad confused 
Where was I going in life
My dad wanted me to join the army
He said I needed structure
 ( I thought he was nuts )
But then he said it wouldn't work
I'd  be like "Private Benjamin"
in the movie looking for a Hotel
( because I dont like hard labor )
He's was right
My Dad asked me, what do you want to do ?
No hesitations Beauty School !
That week he sighed me up 
at Trend Setters Beauty College 

After graduating beauty school
Still partying 
But working at a salon
Night clubbing 
At 20 years old I found my self
pregnant and alone
My dad got me an apartment, and helped me move in
My father taught me
No Matter how Tough Life Got
"You Never Quit" and "We Never Let Go"
Alone and pregnant
My dad who own pluming company every day 
He would take the time have lunch with me
No matter how busy he was 
Despite my choices and consequences, 
My Dad loved beyond Measure 

One week before my due date 
On December 20 th 
During a regular check up
My Doctor started getting nervous
sweating ,and then tearing
Through his tearful voice
He said there is No 💔  Beat
She (Holly) would be "Still Born"
Born Dead
My whole world jus flipped up side down
No words
Just tears sobbing trying to understand 
what jus happened 
Later that day, I gave birth
"Holly" was incredibly beautiful & perfect 

Through powers greater 
then my own understanding 
This was another one
of the many pieces of my puzzle, 
That would one day
all come together 
Though I jus didn't know it yet
Angry at the world 
Later that year I went to Ben Parker 
to a church called Hope Chapel
Curiosity who was this God? I heard about
(as this pain I felt unbearable )

I started attending getting to know everyone 
Helped my friends a little with high schoolers, 
But didn't release my hurt before God 
Not ready to lay it all down, or really talk about it
I went on my way (my rebellion )
Back into the world
A year and a half later 
gave birth to my daughter
Got Married
He was an army recruiter 
I stopped doing hair, to be a stay a home mom
The following year 
I Gave birth to my son

Then the drought ( I wanted a baby) and couldn't 
3 years went by
I started fostering through 
Child Protective Services 
Then I started C/o Training Foster Pride Adopt Pride Program
For Child Protective Services and Child and Family Services
I Fostered 2 baby girls 6 months apart
Till 2 1/2 years old ready for adoption 
Then Boom, I find out I'm pregnant 

But My husband says I can only keep one
of the two girls 
because I'm pregnant 
I've had my two baby girls from birth till 2 1/2 
and have to choose ? 
Balling Crying Tormented Angry Frustrated 
How do I choose?
Who's going to take the other? 
Then after 2 1/2 week of tears, more tears 
and questioning my self how do I choose 
which one to keep

On a regular doctors visit 
The Doctor was performing my ultrasound, 
We were talking 
Then Quiet Silence
You could hear a pin drop
He could find (No 💔 Heart Beat)
I lost both my baby, he said the sac had a tear
Crying saying to my self I lost my baby
The doctor then said there were 2 babies 
Both do not have heart beats 
Huh 2 (stunned)

Yes you were pregnant with twins
The other one wasn't detected 
What? The ultrasound before didn't show 2 
Only 1 baby we were baffled 
I left there Upset Sad 
Not even thinking of how through this tragedy 
God brought triumph 
Arrived home
My husband said now we could keep
Both baby girls
because we would have had two babies

Thank you to God ( now I know he's there ) 
For taking this choice away from me
God had a plan his will his way!
Adoption complete! 
We keep both girls 💝💝
2 years later we took in 2 more children 
siblings to one of my baby girls
A Growing family through the next 5 years 
His job very long hours
I'm Growing learning human development
I started C/o Training Foster Pride Program
And Train the Trainers Pride Program for CPS
Then Child and Family Services 
But My marriage failing
Growing apart
He didn't want me to work
As he saw the change in me 

Wanted me to be a stay at home mom
But I was growing and felt empowered 
To finally doing something for me 
Realizing I had my goals my dreams
I Supported him through his career 
I Loved what I was doing 
My girl friends and I
Started a new foster parent association 
Wrote a Grant attained our 501c3
Then the resentment set in
He didn't like it, I was away working 
I didn't like his temper
And I drifted away
Infidelity adultery on my part  

Because of pride, ego, anger, bitterness and 
Unforgiveness came divorce 
I thought the grass was greener 
Little did I know 
I was listening to the enemy ( the devil ) 👹 
buying into sin 
jus didn't know it 
making excuses for my every action 
So blinded by my flesh (sin)

I got married, a rebound
He got married 
Both of us within our first year
Then I got a divorce, what was I thinking 
But the verbal abuse hurtful blame game 
Not truly knowing God or the word
Nor a personal relationship w/ God
Unforgivness and pride set in
My husband wanted me back
I didn't
I wanted him back 
He didn't 

Both of us all of our choices
everywhere all over the place
The scales over my eyes
so blind to see the truth
My selfish choices
my selfish ways
Seeing and feeling only I, I, I,
 (my view my side only)
Not seeing the ripple effect of my choices
That came with harsh consequences 
Not having a personal relationship God 
Or knowing the Word
I Only saw Fault in him
No forgiveness 

My children's father called me 
to come back to Hawaii 
I told him, I would help him
He told me 
he wanted to kill himself that evening
I told him please don't 
the kids need you 
and love you!
Around 9 pm I called my mom 
crying and emotional 
told her what he said 
That night I was overcome 
by a sense of presents 
All around me 
whelmed by this feeling 

I tried calling back but no answer 
as they were a couple hours ahead
The next morning I received a call from
South Carolina 
My children's father committed suicide  
I knew it 
The overwhelming sensation 
was my children's father spirit 
that came to me that night 

All I could think of was 
I had to get to my daughter
 (she needs me)
My Daughter, I have to get her ( fly there)
My heart broke
My children broken 
The struggle is real
The valley is dark 
I left the salon

My Co worker and boss drove me home
 to console the kids
 as I had to break the news to them
Heart broke into a million pieces seeing 
The devistation of "choices " 
brought to their lives
All I had in my mind, my daughter needs me
We flew to South Carolina to get her 
She at the time was only 13 years old 

We arrived at there home where he shot himself
To pack up all her belongings ( to bring back home) 
In her room there were holes all over her wall 
were her was bed 
Her step grandmother said that a guy 
shot up the house
Through my daughters room
My head spinning 
My mind blowing
thinking what has she been through
what has she seen, been exposed to 
Her hurts were my wounds

Packed her up with what little we could grab 
I jus wanted to fly her back home 
to be with the rest of the kids
The lesson
You truly don't know what you have
 Until it's gone
It's easier to see Faults in others
Then to Look in the Mirror
and see the Plank in our own eyes

The day before 
I could only see his faults his flaws
Now God reviled 
Removed the scales from my eyes
Like a Veil being lifted 
for the first time
I can see clearly
Flash cards 
Thousands of them
All at once
Flashing before me pictures 
incredible memories
These are the Moments in time 
That took my breath away

Feeling the guilt 
My pain became there pain
Completely broken
going through the motions 
Doing things
but inside I felt dead
Started to go out and drink again 
Over the next couple of years (the valley)
Jus wanted to numb the pain
and get rid of the hurt 
Went out on the weekend 
partied with different friends 
use coccain and weed occasionally 
Being per miscues 

Not even caring 
What that looked like
It took one amazing friend (a guy )
Who told me " Chrissy pump your brakes" nuff
As I was out of control
doing things out of the normal
True friends tell you things 
Even if it hurts
I thought long and hard about it 
well at first I was mad
But he was right
He could see the Best of Me
When I was showing 
The Worst of Me

Thinking to my self
This was not who God created me to be
I was making a fool of my self 
Time to look in the mirror 
Crying and super emotional 
Always thinking why God? 
If your real
Where are you ? 
Are you even here
Cause I don't see you 

The next morning 
I said God if your real show me
I came home from work 
and there on my front door step 
was this tiny little plant 
all of 4 inches
"Jesus loves you"
Tears tears tears 
over a tiny little 4 inch plant
Crying because I know 
He heard my call
I thought wow ! He heard ME
( He heard my cry ) Psalm 40:1
If you have Faith as small as a "mustard seed"
Nothing will be impossible for you ( Mathew 17:20)

My Love  my passion 
my horse named (heart bar) Journey  
came into my life
Ranch life amazing
the healing therapeutic 
The feeling of riding journey 
is a feeling of freedom
One with nature
forgetting everything 
just being Free 
from every emotion 
even if it was just in that moment

I could exhale
Think and breath
a new breath of life again
Then a friend came into my life 
who brought me to Word of Life, 
A relationship bloomed 
as we blended two families
11 beautiful children
Attending church
At WOrd of Life
God lite a fire within my soul

I discovered a personal relationship 
with God, our father
and learned he has been with me 
the entire way 
through trial and tribulation
This heavy load 
Of brokenness
the guilt, the hurt, the choices 
that came with 
life changing consequences  
Laying it all before the foot of the Cross
finally Free of condemnation and guilt

Every year the remembrance 
of my children father, my partner
Would gently remind me 
you are not to blame, let it go! 
The rush of amazing love
filling every part of my soul
My Passion Restored
Later that year 
we went to see at Billy 808 tattoo
He blessed me and gave me his shop
The Color Bar salon was started 
Because I felt so incredibly blessed 
with the salon
I would pray to God 
to use us for his glory
Bring us the ones 
who we need to be a blessing too

I'd ask God show me life 
through your eyes
I'd pray Father teach me 
to love how you love 
Over time my partner and I 
started arguing 
my son Sean who was in Riverside Teen Challenge
A Christian drug treatment program in California
Sent us (mom and dad ) a present
 "Saying please watch it "
A video tape called
 "Fire Proof"

I watched it 
and I cried cried cried 
I called my son right away
and said I love this movie
I cried through the whole thing
But dad didn't get it !
My son said Mom, 
Watch it again, 
Because YOU 
Didn't Get It !
Huh what? 
So I watched it again 
then I started BALLING 
God removed the scales from my eyes
To show me "Life is a Test"
Family and Friends and Life may let you down

It's not about what they do
It's about what you do!
Are you living in the present? 
and walking in his light ?
That they will see Christ shining through you ?
Is The Holy Spirit Dwelling 
and living In you ?
Will they see me Jesus ( the spirit ) 
through your walk in life 
your everyday actions?

I knew in that moment
my life would no longer be about me 
My son, will soon realize 
by sending me that video tape 
Fire proof 
my life was about to change
I hear you Father 
It's time to worship and serve you
Your will 
your way
Praying father God
I need you
I cannot do this anymore 
Hear my cry oh lord
Hear my plea
My kids father have your way
my life your will be done

my family broken, I lay it all before you
what seems impossible
with you father all things are not only possible 
there favorable
Have your way my king
there is no other like you 
Your love surpasses 
all understanding 
Let your will
be my heart 

Above the mighty heavens 
you reign
Teach me to how to love 
the way you love 
Show me life 
through your eyes father
Have your way in me
Father allow me 
the Grace and compassion for others
With humility 
I will serve for your glory
In the midst of the storm ,
I hear you 
I will Be still

I will worship 
while I'm waiting 
in court 2 to 3 times a week 
with my younger Kids 
Who were running the streets
being disobedient 
The police
courts juvenal system 

Always believing 
God doesn't make junk
They jus made bad choices
 as they are building there testimonies
Praying to God 
The Holy Spirit told me, 
keep serving my people 
and I will take care of yours
"Lean not on your own understanding" 
do not worry about what's going on over here ( the kids ) 
jus SERVE my people 
I ( God ) got you ! I got them ! Trust me ! 

"Faith is believing
 in what we cannot see"
"I will never leave nor for sake you "
Your will 
Your way
I will listen 
I will serve
God put on my heart
Reach into the community
love on them through service

"A Heart of Worship" Service 
was Birth forth
we help lift the fallen
restore the broken
give hope to the hurting
washing there feet we will serve
Welcoming women and children
who are going through a tough time
dealing with sickness or loss of a family member

They recieve all free services
refreshments, and prayer over each of them 
Prayer ministries came from 
Destiny Christian Church
Ann Onasai
Daughters of the King, 
and  New Hope Windward 
We Loved on them with 4 1/2 hour pamper 
packages and prayer 
Our mothers whom lost children
 were given crosses 
We've had 5 heart of worship services 
Having been blessed to impact 300 women and children (boys & girl)
donation to support children's sports in our community 
through the years
-parents  will call for help and we graciously
pay it forward to help even if what we 
can offer is a small gesture
our heart behind and love we pour out
is bigger then we could ever phantom 

The real miracle is 
jus when you think your blessing them
There realism is 
they are really blessing you 
A reconditioning of the heart 
Through all my testing and trials 
drawing ever so closer to God

My fathers diagnosis 
A battle with cancer
While in the hospital room
I had my lap top playing
the "Katinas " songs (Christian music)
My siblings saying turn that off 
dads not a Christian 
He doesn't believe in God
I told everyone do not touch it
Let it play
The entire time it played in the back ground

My father who was perfectly fine
in his mental state 
Very Coherent 
nothing wrong with him
Was given a revelation from God 
My sister who wanted me to turn the music off
He told her he can see 
his Guardian angle
she's beautiful looking up
As he described this 
incredible beautiful angle
on her white horse 
watching over him protecting him 
He kept staring mesmerized
by what he could see

Then in an instant a couple minutes later
he saw the dark side
and he was very very scared 
As if it was right before him
then it was gone
If you knew my father
this was not like him to be afraid.
I asked our pastors and they said
this was a messege for all of us 
Our family that God is real
and it's being revealed to my father 
there are two spiritual forces darkness and light

All my sisters flew in
everyone was here but my son Sean
His flight had gotten rerouted to a neighbor island 
My sister made a call
and they got him on the next flight here
My father waited those extra hours 
very coherent, 
For my son to come home
from River Side Teen Challenge 
Christian Drug Treatment Program
What no one saw coming 
Gods plan for my son to arrive in time
 his perfect timing
To love on his papa 
Talk to him 
Say his good byes 
And Pray over him!
That evening My father accepted Jesus Christ
As his Lord and Savior through his grandson Sean 

Through many tears 
Not wanting to let him go
We saw the spirit pull him as 
He kept trying to reach for us 
Arms stretched out
If you reach for me 
I'll reach for you
And this time we had to let go
On this day my I found Victory at the Cross
Because I knew with out a doubt 
My father went to his fathers house
This was the greatest gift
I could ever ask for the gift of his salvation

My father Legacy 
Was a legacy of Love
He showed me the way we see life depends 
Upon who's eyes your looking through
thank you dad for showing my life through your eyes
I Honor you Dad
If you have Faith as small as a Mustard Seed Nothing will be Impossible for You
(Mathew 17:20)

My father Legacy 
Was a legacy of Love
He showed me the way we see life depends 
Upon who's eyes your looking through
I honor you Dad
and thank you for
showing me life through your eyes
A father daughter bond 
that would surpass the hands of time
My fathers love was the glue
That held us together
The day he died 
Our family broke

The legacy pasted down ( the land)
Value 2.2 million 
My siblings set up a meeting to come sign papers 
Not questioning them 
When I got there looking at the papers
I felt the Holy Spirit (caution) read
My sibling saying jus sign here!
My heart dropped the realization of 
Deception and Greed
As my siblings were trying to deceive my 
My Aunty and I to sign off our titles

God revealed it, I stopped my Aunty from signing
Psalms 91 
(because you acknowledge my name 
I will protect You in all your ways) 
Completely side blinded 
I text them 
This is not who we are 
If we all come together
Forgive one another
we can't change the past
But have the ability to change the future 
for all our children

I told them the value is Not in the land
With God 
The value is in our family!
Crying to God , and asking 
Why can't they see, what I see
Why can't we all get along 
Forgiveness cost Nothing 
It's free 
we are all greater together
Then I heard "Be Still " 
"It's the eyes there looking through"

Then God put on my heart 
the vision of "The Pledge"
A "pay it forward " gift 
of time hope and compassion
I Started it 
created the whole business 
and boom
didn't feel worthy of this calling
Asking God how can I do this 
when I come from all of this failure
kids in jail , two failed marriages
I can't my life wasn't perfect, 

The Pledge is to take back the fight 
for our families and communities
doubting my ability,  because I saw failure in my past 
And what I came from, 
Asking my self Why would God use me  for this
I will look dumb 
when there were plenty perfect people in the world
I put it away " the pledge " for the next 1 year  
it sat on my shelf a year went by 

Through all of this 
God put on my heart the Veil 
but didn't know what the veil was
After receiving the meaning 
We birth forth 
"The Veil"
Through the Veil 
Where amazing love is found
In the valley we will fight
Through trials and tribulations
we will reign
Lifting the fallen 
Restoring the broken
Give hope to the hurting
Not looking for our miracle
But becoming someone's Miracle

The Veil
We are 
Paying it forward
Offering free services
All we ask
Is a promise
Between you and God 
( not us )
Wether you do it or not ( you still recieve free services)
That's between ""You And God "" not us
To "pay it forward " to 
3 people in 1 months time
With random acts of kindness
Do something for someone they can't do for them selves

Then the Holy Spirit hit me 
Balling crying 
God told me You will sign ! 
You Will Pay it forward to the 3 of them ( your 3 sisters)
It is NOT your lesson to teach them
Love them! for they do not know 
Love them deeply 
For " love covers a multitude of sins"
"He who is without sin cast the first stone"
"Get out of the way"
How will they see me, if you don't show them who I am!
So I called and told them I'm sorry! 
Signed a new loan my cousin attained and No one lost titles!

Through all of this my 7 year relationship 
Starting two companies 
He left for another woman
Ground zero 
Darkness numb 
I couldn't believe this was happening 
I was serving 
worshiping , working providing
What I failed to realize
is we settled 
got comfortable living a LIE ! 
In Sin " not married"

For the next 2 1/2 years baby steps 
Learning how to breath again
God continues to show me 
"we are all trying to find our way in life 
No one Sin is Greater then any Other
"He who is without Sin, Cast the first Stone"
I am not perfect
there are many areas 
i still fall short
"For where I am weak He is Strong " 2nd Corinthians
Pressing through I can hear my dad 
"Your not a quitter"
"we don't quit " 
"We don't let go "

My children 
their walk is their own
there choices and mistakes their addictions
lying unforgivneess greed pride drugs stealing rebellion 
that follow with the police and the courts 
that have come with heavy consequences
they are not perfect 
(when I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child, 
when I became an adult, I grew up and put my child ness
ways behind me 
(1 Corinthians 13) 
In Gods perfect timing 
Not mine 
His will, his way
They will arrive
Beautiful in His Sight 
and Perfect in his Image
Removing the blinders from their eyes 
Their test, Will be there Testimony!
I am far from perfect
I still am growing, learning and changing
Trying to correct all my wrongs from past choices
But with what I have
I Will Help

The Greatest Stories in the Bible
are of murders harlets thieves !
We are the Authors of Our Own Stories
This is My Life
I Choose to make it Beautiful! 
Life and death lies in the power of our tongues, 
I call them ( my children ) Gods testimonies !
One day it will all come together for his Glory
And they will be Fishers of Men
God turned my mess into his message
I Stand in Faith, Anchored in Love ✝

(1 st Corinthians 13:8)
Love Never Fails
Never gives up 
Love Always Protects
And Endures through every Circumstance 
Crying out to God father 
if I have to go through this break up,  
I pray, You give me the grace and humbleness 
and courage that I need to endure
the patients to preserver 
and attitude of gratitude 
for all the blessings you bestowed on my family. 

Today my ex an I , 
We have come full circle and are friends, 
we still help one another, 
As I realized our breakup 
was between him and God 
apart of his journey and his life and his testimony
Through Gods Amazing Love 
where Grace and Mercy is found
There is Power in Forgiveness  
God had a plan !
He needed all my Pieces to come together

Through every trial and tribulation 
My mess 
Would become his messege
In my tragedy 
God showed me triumph 
My siblings say I play the victim 
But My God shows me I'm a Victor
I found Victory at the Cross
By his blood I am washed clean
All my hurts of Love, lost, 
Unforgivneess, brokenness
Through his Grace and Mercy
He Would allow me to feel 
empathy and compassion, for others 

God gave me a heart for the broken hearted
We are all diamonds  [💎]
We All have the Power to Shine
Looking into the Mirror
Is where the truth lies
Our past doesn't define who we are
What defines us is how we rise after we fall
Jesus offered us Mercy and Grace 
even when underserved
We Have and Hold the Power
 To Love Beyond Measure  [❤] ️

We are all born for
For Such A Time As This
The power of one ( Jesus ) ✝
I let the enemy fool me to tell me, 
I'm not worthy, not good enough
The Devil is a liar
Defeated at the Cross
God our father
" His Power is made Perfect In our Weakness"
I Am A Daughter Of The Most High  [👑]
Well Equipped and Well Able
We have the ability to Rise Up
And "Be" the " Change " we want to see in the world  [🌎] [💫] [✨]

There's Power in Forgiveness
We are Making a difference 
By touching the lives of others
Reaching out 
Offering Grace and Mercy 
Paying it Forward
One person at a time
For Such A Time As This
Gods Vision the birth of 
The Pledge Movement
(A revival of hope and compassion 
a movement of amazing love)

"Spiritual Warfare " is all around us, 
our family's our children our communities 
are being attacked 
We have the Power to take back Take back the Fight!

Get back in the Game, 
Our world is fast changing, 
the social media disconnect
( family's are not communicating ) 
everyone on there cell phones, 
no one talks any more 
if we can't communicate how will our children, 
they will Mirror what we do in the future. 
This will affect our generations to come 
there relationships marriages 
the fight is real 
But our Strength Lies Anchored in the Veil. 

What's At Steak
There is an Opponent ( enemy )
who wants to take Us Out
What he Wants 
are the things We Love the Most
Your Family!
Your Life!
Your Very Purpose !


My name is Cybil Ann Marie,
born and raised on Oahu, Hawaii.
Raised with 2 older sisters and a younger brother.
Growing up for me
was a very confusing time for me.
I was sexually molested at the age of 5/6
by my step father who was a blackout alcoholic.
It was a secret that he played off very well.
He fooled us all for many years.
Once I out grew his "age standards" the molestation stopped by him,
but was the beginning of many others.
Curious older cousins
would use me to fulfill their curiosities.
This went on for a couple of years.
 At age 11 I would get attention
from my favorite uncle.
He was the best friend of my step dad
and a long time family friend.
I would spend weekends with him,
He would let me drink beer,
and smoke cigarettes made me feel like I was grown up.
Later would smoke weed with me,
and introduced me to meth.
He tried to get me to take a hit from the pipe,
which was very scary for me
at that age so I pulled away.
He then took a huge hit from it and pressed his lips against mine
forcing me to take that hit from his mouth.
That was my first and not the last taste of methamphetamine.
He too would get loaded and molest me as well. 
By age 12 I was off and running the streets.

Using everything and anything I could
get my hands on that would take away the pain.
At this time of my life I met a special girl Tisha Falcon.
She held a youth bible studies and we'd go to church as a group.
She even took me to a spiritual healing meeting.
She first planted the seed of God in my life.
But the hunger for drugs drove me away from them. 
I became a wild teenager, very promiscuous.

I mistaken sex for love.
All thou it was only temporary is was something.
I hungered for love.
I had my first pregnancy at 15 years old.
Miscarried in my 5th month,
which didn't have an affect on me.
I was free to continue to do whatever I wanted.
I was constantly a runaway from home.
I then 1 year later got pregnant again and carried full term.
I was able to quit the heavy drugs during this pregnancy
and gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
As soon as she was born I started using meth again.
Her father and I would break up when she was about 16 months old.
I took her with me and "lived"
with my mother and step father.
I would leave her often with my mother
while i'd go out and do my thing.
I'd be gone for days.
At that time I was so blinded by the drugs
I saw nothing wrong with it.
Jumped into a abusive relationship.
Feeling so stuck in my addiction and stuck in the abuse,
I attempted to take my own life
with a cocktail of pills and vodka.
My mother found my lifeless body stretched out
in front of a liquor store where she called 911.
They managed to get me to the hospital
and pumped my stomach in time to save my life.
This was the first pshyc ward visit but far from the last.
The DR. who did an interview with me
found out I had a baby and notified CPS.
That is how I lost custody of my first daughter.
Maybe a year later I got pregnant again from my abuser.
This pregnancy I am sorry to say I did not stay clean through.
We later broke up and I moved to Waianae with my aunt.
CPS came to our door saying I failed as a mother to protect
my daughter from being exposed to
domestic violence, her dad would hit me in front of her,
so I was unfit and they took her from me as well.
Deeper I went into my drug addiction.

Running the streets,
dealing drugs, and being in that whole scene of constant chaos.
Went from relationship to relationship.
I was in a relationship with an older man for about 5 years.
I got pregnant from him,
he convinced me to get an abortion.
Which I am not proud to say I did.
Not 2 months later got pregnant again,
and decided to keep the baby.
Her father completely denied her.
Demanded a paternity test.
I was 6 months pregnant
when I started getting romantically involved with a drug dealing partner.
Who was known to be physically violent to his girlfriend,
but was nothing but nice to me.
I thought I would be different.
This physcho went around telling his family that my baby was his.
He was so convincing he almost convinced me. 
He fed me drugs through out this pregnancy,
not that i'm blaming him for my using,
it just didn't help.
The drugs was his sense of control.
Never laid a hand on me until I came out of the hospital.
He beat me so bad,
I had no option to leave.
I've had my share of beatings
but this was on a whole new level.
I tried leaving him, he would find me.
Drag me out of the house by my hair,
while holding my newborn by the arm with his other hand.
He would drive recklessly
with the baby in the car with no car seat.
just got a thrill out of my reactions.
He saw that anything to do with the baby would freak me out,
he used that to his advantage.
He wanted me to give up my baby
to his mom who was already in the system with foster care.
I didn't want to, but he beat it into me.
Anywhere far from him would be safer for her,
I knew this was true. So, I did. 
Only through God's grace he got arrested and I was set free.
I went to the authorities so I could tell them
what really happened with my daughter.
CPS gave me a service plan with no intention of giving her back,
she was already adopted. 
Deeper and deeper I got into my addiction,

at this time I was doing meth,
Valiums, crack, and weed with alcohol all on a daily basis.
19 years of the same viscous cycle.
In and out of rehabs, detox, and the pshyc wards.
My mother and new step dad lived in California,
and has spoke about
me coming up there to live and get clean.
In August of 2011 I was finally at my end.
I was empty spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
I took them up on their offer.
Their only conditions was for me to stay clean,
go to my meetings, and attend church on Sundays. 
Through the steps of Narcotics anonymous, and the actions

and example that my parents set out before me did I find God.
I then started this beautiful journey
with the lover of my soul Jesus Christ.
It is said who the Son sets free, is free indeed.
I am no longer a slave to drugs,
to alcohol, or to the moments of my past.
I have found the LOVE I've been aching for.
He Fills My Heart, and My Spirit. 
You know I used to blame

God for all of my child abuse when I was younger,
it took me a long time to figure out
That It Wasn't Him,
it was these individuals who had free "WILL" 
(there choice) to do what they choose.
God protected me from death.
These Trials have given me Perseverance.
For now I am never alone, I Am Free in Him.
Today I choose freedom.
All of these circumstances should've taken me out....

 My Name is Cybil Garret and this is "My Story"